Yay, I got married.
Planning a wedding was so fun, exciting and expensive. Probably three expected words, but the surprise is probably that it wasn’t stressful. I really wanted my wedding day to be my vision, not what was expected of me. I am not necessarily a people pleaser, but it can still be difficult to feel confident in your own decisions when everyone has their own. There are no wrong opinions, but I think different things are important to each couple, which is ok. Not being influenced by others, or upset by their differing opinions, can be easier said than done, but it is possible. We spent a lot of time thinking about what we wanted the day to look like and coming up with words to describe the wedding we wanted to have. Main descriptors for the wedding were relaxed, modern, inviting, fun, good food. We also spent some time thinking about things we did not want or were not as important so we would not be influenced by other people’s opinions or get caught up spending money on things that were of low priority. Once we knew the ambiance and experience we wanted our friends and family to have, it was a matter of creating the vision.
Crickets.
The first part, the vision, was decently straightforward. We knew what we wanted. Bringing it to life, however, that was a challenge. It took some time but when I saw it, I knew immediately. We went to dinner to a Spanish tapas restaurant to celebrate maybe a birthday? I do not recall. But I do remember falling in love with the venue, the service, the vibe. Everything about the restaurant was perfect. Including the meal, it was exceptional in every way. And that was it. We decided on an intimate dinner reception for our friends and family, preceded by a ceremony for only a few family members. All done directly in the restaurant.
Renting out a restaurant and eating a specialty dinner was a magical experience. Below are some of my favorite decisions we made.
Testing Superstitions
First and foremost, I am so glad we spent the morning of the wedding together. There are a lot of old traditions regarding the bride and groom seeing each other before the wedding. Or spending the night before separate. But we tossed them out the window. A lot of the time you spend the whole day getting ready with family and friends, which is nice, but takes away a lot of the time you spend with the groom. It was special and memorable to spend the morning together, eat breakfast and hang out between getting dressed. It made the whole day feel longer, and more intimate. He did leave the room while I put my dress on for a mini first look, but otherwise he saw hair and makeup, and spent the whole morning with me. And I am so glad we had all those memories. It took some of the edge off and just made me feel happy instead of anxious.
Next
Nothing sets the tone for an event more than the music. It is imperative that you ensure the music is matching the vibe you want to set, is appropriate for the audience and fun (assuming that is your goal). Whether you have a DJ or not, curate your playlist! For both dancing and dinner. I think the dinner playlist tends to get overlooked, but the bulk of the evening is spent sitting and eating. Avoid wanting to skip a song, or a generic feeling to your special day. I highly suggest taking the time to comb over your favorite songs which keeps your guests engaged to the music, singing along and socializing. It is a great way to get people that maybe have not met or have not seen each other in a while to get comfortable. We spent probably the most amount of time curating the playlist and are so obsessed with it, we still listen to it on car rides and weekend cooking sessions. If you choose to have a DJ, they can of course mix the music and make it sound seamless. If you are playing the music yourself, you can pay someone to mix the music for you or download an app that arranges it for you.
Powering Through
Wedding photos are expensive. The most expensive thing we purchased, actually. So you want to make sure you get the value and make it a positive experience. Depending on your preferences and wedding events, you may not have a lot of flexibility on when you take the couple photos. But! If you have control, do it early! Power through the midday heat, the slightly longer day you might create or the resistance you might receive for not taking them after the ceremony, and get them done early. We had several hours to take all of our photos together before the ceremony. It felt super personal, because it was just me and the groom. We had no pressure, because we built in several hours before the ceremony. And we looked fresh, suit was pressed, hair and makeup recently finished. After our personal photo sessions, we went over to the ceremony, then took family photos, and then headed into the reception. Wonderful sequence of events.
Lazy Girl Guide
If you are interested in a food focused event, renting a restaurant is a really worthwhile venue and we couldn’t be more pleased with how our wedding turned out. It is already beautifully decorated, and having delicious food makes the event fun for everyone and very memorable. For some of our guests it was the first time eating certain meals, and was cool introduction to the food of another culture (Spanish tapas). The restaurant handled a lot of the planning, setting up and small details like custom printed menus. They helped select wine, and put together drink recommendations. It took a lot of the stress and decision making off of us. Also, as a bonus, avoid round tables! Using smaller, square tables allowed everyone at the table to interact with each other, instead of only the people to your left and right. I would not have thought of that on my own, but did notice a lot more engagement at tables because everyone was able to chat.
I am now hoping to plan an annual party of some kind because it was such a wonderful and positive experience. I also loved having all of my friends and family in one place.
Looking forward to hearing about your favorite part of your own wedding, or what stage of wedding planning you might be at right now.
As a last note, I loved using small business vendors. A lot of them actually women owned. They were local to Cincinnati but do offer their services nationwide. I think we received superior service and a lot of helpful tips relevant to the event and location. A small business is sometimes a little bit more expensive, but their knowledge, availability and quality was well worth the price. We ordered our invitations at Poeme and our photographer was Bambino International.
